Nukilan Penaku

Sudah sekian lama sejak blog ini dikemas kini. 

Karangan kali ini berkenaan dengan kasih sayang dan cinta yang memisahkan kita manusia daripada haiwan.

Ramai yang berpendapat bahawa rata-rata manusia mempunyai akal fikiran maka kita sebagai manusia adalah lebih berkuasa dan berada pada kedudukan yang lebih tinggi dalam Strata kedudukan semua Species di dunia ini.

Namun disebabkan oleh ketamakan dan sifat mementingkan diri sendiri, manusia telah menunjukkan sifat yang tidak berperikemanusiaan yang menjadikan sesetengah orang berpendapat binatang pun lebih penyayang berbanding dengan manusia yang sanggup membunuh saudara sendiri termasuk darah daging sendiri demi ego dan haloba.

Amatlah sedih apabila kita membaca dan mendengar berita yang hiba apabila kematian dan kecederaan di dunia yang diakibatkan angkara manusia itu sebenarnya adalah sia-sia dan mampu dihentikan sekiranya manusia menggunakan akal fikirannya dan mendekati sifat kemanusiaan yang sememangnya setiap bayi yang lahir mampu menguasai sifat perikemanusiaan yang sememangnya anugerah semulajadi kepada semua manusia yang berakal.

Ego dan perasaan tamak haloba serta dengki menjadikan manusia berfikiran sempit dan melahirkan rasa tidak puas hati dan benci yang mengaburi mata manusia daripada apa yang benar dan patut, menjadikan manusia itu lebih teruk daripada binatang. 

Seandainya manusia mampu berhenti sejenak dan berfikir dengan akal yang diberkati, sebenarnya kalau kita kasih dan sayang, dunia ini akan penuh dengan kasih dan sayang, maka kita tidak perlu berebut-rebut dan berperangan sesama sendiri. Sayang sekali berpuluh-puluh generasi terperangkap di dalam belenggu peperangan dan kelaparan yang mana kasih dan sayang tidak mampu berakar umbi. 

Namun dunia kita tidak seharusnya berputus asa. Selagi hayat dikandung badan kita melaksanakan apa yang patut dan mendidik generasi baru kita agar menjadikan dasar berperikemanusiaan itu lumrah hidup agar masa depan dunia kita masih ada harapan yang cerah. Optimis! 

Living up to Expectations

I had a very special guest when our baby girl was just one-month-old at that time. One of her four godmothers flew in all the way from Borneo, the Malaysian state of Sarawak, to meet with her under a 'covert' mission that I don't leak out her identity over social media so I will leave it at that. She is one of the three godmothers who are staying in Sarawak and yes our girl is truly blessed to have one goddaddy and four godmothers.

We then talked overnight and talked and talked and talked while taking turns to care for our baby girl.

Then the inevitable talk happened. How much does our house cost and how much does it cost for me to exit my business just before our baby girl was born and how are we coping with me slowing down my work to concentrate on my newborn baby girl. Then she talked about how much her household income is and whatever she earn every month, her salary is distributed for the expenses and she is left with very little savings at the end of the day. 

Money cannot buy happiness, but usually that is spoken by bitter people who feel they don't have enough money and they may have a love-hate relationship with money. Like JT Foxx World's No 1 Wealth Coach said, only broke people will use the excuse Money cannot buy happiness because He, JT Foxx has got lots of money and he is very happy! 

I think money has nothing to do with being happy, happiness comes from being comfortable in your own skin. If you are already happy you will be happy with or without money. So please don't equate money to happiness. Having money is not a sin. Not having money is not a sin either.

Okay today is the end of the first week of September and we have exactly 3 months and 3 weeks left in 2016.

We shall see what I say about money a few weeks down the road as I am undergoing huge transformative changes in mindset with special help from people who are good in what they do, so we shall see if my mindset about money improves or drastically change in the coming weeks. I am sure it will change but maybe not that much?

You see I have been brought up by two low key and down to earth parents, they are school teachers, money was never something we pursue, it is always 'safe' to hold a regular job with a stable employer and wait for that pay at the end of the month. Doing business is seen as greedy and businessmen are usually sneaky and cunning, and just out to cheat you of your money, that was what I got from my growing years and while I know these messages are irrational as I know really nice and very humane business people now that I myself am a businesswoman myself it is funny how these childhood programming cannot leave your subconscious.

So I embark on my journey of self discovery and trying to experience a paradigm shift as far as money and wealth is concerned.

Let the blessings of abundance and wealth and all the good things in life be received with open arms, heart and mind on every level. Shall update this again soon. *wink*

I end this with a quote from Walt Disney - A man should never neglect his family for business. 

 

101 days

 It has been 100 days. It went by like a whoosh. Our baby girl is 101 days old today, time passed by so fast yet the days are long yet the weeks went fast. Each day I find myself counting the minutes of when she last fed, when she last poo, when she last slept and napped, each day I count the hours to when hubby would return home, so he can take over a bit while I spend more time with our eldest. No one said becoming a parent is easy and no one said becoming a parent comes naturally to anyone. It is a learned skill, just like any job in the world we need practice every day to do it to the best we could. 

Happy 101th day my little girl, another milestone another achievement for both of us, may you grow up to be healthy and happy for many more 100 days!!!

We love you so much. Xoxo Mama Papa and Elder Bro.

The house makes sounds early dawn

So I was staying up late today and the clock shows 4.18am. Burning the midnight oil to catch up on work while the rest of the world at least in this part of the world are asleep.

I first heard it at 4am an echo caused by metal clanging on my chrome staircase railings. Soft but firm. I ignored it and sure enough it repeated within five minutes. Then the story that I heard last week about the recent death of the teenage girl who used to grow up in my current house replayed itself in my mind. This girl grew up with her family and walked up and down these stairs for many years before they moved away and just recently early June passed away suddenly. The father actually dropped by and burned incense and placed apples and oranges under the tree in front of our house about a week after her death. Perhaps he has this belief that her soul may wander back to her childhood home and no incense burning for her to sustain her soul (Chinese belief which is more cultural than religious). 

My overactive mind started whirring louder and I half expected to see lurking at every corner, a female figure in white with long straight rebonded hair like how the Asian horror movies portray their female spirits. Then I calmed myself down and took a deep breath and feel the atmosphere, a lizard just tsk tsk tsk away as if shaking its head at my foolish thoughts and fear of this poor girl's spirits. If anything I should offer a silent prayer to the spirit of this teenage girl and may she rest in peace and may her surviving father find peace in her loss.

RIP 😢 May all beings be well and happy. 

Have a calm weekend everyone.

 

Three Deaths and Joy Combo In Life

We all know that we are all going to die some day. Yet the way some people behave is like they have a death wish or they feel they still have a lot of time left on Earth and they can afford to squander away precious time and resources, depends on how you look at it.

My first memory of death was of my grandma lying down on a hospital bed and my mom opened the window and we peeked in from outside as I was barely 5 back in May 1985. The image is clearly etched in my memory, my grandma with her eyes closed and being given the oxygen mask, even at four years old I knew death is a grave thing and it was not fun or an occassion for merry making. The next thing I remember was a blur of activities and many strangers coming into the family home and we all had to don white and black, and my mom with her pregnant belly, kneeling down over the coffin and crying. My baby sister was born less than 3 months later before my grandma's 100 days after her passing. My first encounter with death and joy of birth happening almost simultaneously.

Fast forward to a joyful childhood where I grew up being the only Chinese-speaking girl in my class of 37, and having to learn a new language(s) with my playmates, to a dramatic move away from my childhood town to my parents' hometown with more teenage angst and hormonal outbursts and finally University and my first job and finally a decent boyfriend that my parents approve of lol.

My second encounter with death and joy was in the year of 2007. My grandpa died 10 days before my wedding reception in my hometown. It was really a mixed feeling. I was quite close to my grandpa and from wearing white and delivering his eulogy at his funeral, I was made to change into a red outfit immediately after he was laid to rest as I was to be a bride in the next week. According to Chinese customs, white or black signify sadness or bad luck or death, and red or bright colours signify joy and birth and happy occassions or celebration like New Year or weddings.

Another red and white occassion and it happened within such a short span of time. 

Things happen in threes just because it is the favourite number of the Universe or so I believe, in 2013 my son was born earlier than his due date and exactly 30 days later my mother-in-law passed away. It was all predestined, earlier birth that was unplanned, and 30 days later the death that occurred on the day the red eggs were distributed. Chinese customs usually see people giving out red eggs (the egg shell dyed with edible food dye) as red signifies happiness). It was another mixed emotions occassion for everyone. We took it in stride and mourned while not being too consumed by grief as we had our long awaited newborn son to take care of. 

In times like this I felt that it was a good test of our mettle and inner strength, it was also a good training field for us to practise equanimity where we ain't supposed to be too carried away by happiness and excitement nor are we supposed to be drowning in grief and despair. We consider ourselves to be privileged to be thrown such challenges because what doesn't kill you really make you stronger and hopefully wiser.

This time around life is Kind. And we are thankful for that. We can truly enjoy our newborn baby girl and I feel like it is a second chance for us to enjoy a peaceful start to enjoying infanthood, a chance denied to us the first round as death was looming as my late mother-in-law exceeded doctors' prognosis and stayed alive with her resolve to see her unborn grandson. This time around we truly appreciate the gift of life that we receive and for that we are truly grateful.

I always remind myself having experienced death and joy simultaneously three times in my life so far: "At the end of our life here on earth, when it is the last of our hour, when we are about to breathe our last and the inhale was never followed by an exhale, what will be my final thoughts? I just know that my final thought should be and must be happy and contented with no regrets of a life lived well." ~ Sue Tiong

Three ways to spot an Energy Drainer

The energy you give out really matters.

A friend was telling me that her dog got really sick the past few months and then she figured out perhaps the dog is absorbing her stress which started almost at the same time the dog got sick. Then the moment a big project was over the dog naturally recovered.

I don't know about others but for me I thrive in happiness and feeling light and I shun negative people and steer clear of negative conversation whenever I can.

We only have so much energy in a day. Imagine waking up to a full bar of energy.

If we meet a drainer who is full of negativity your energy bar may be drained and depleted within no time.

I have been guilty of being a drainer a decade ago and I apologise to many who knew me at my worst and I truly am sorry for draining you guys so much to the extend I lost some relationships. 

A drainer usually has these characteristics as per my observation:

1. "Woe is me" Mentality

The drainer always have a problem. He/she always like to repeat her problem to anyone who can listen, and with each telling of the problem, the drainer actually enjoys recounting it and got energised just by telling the problem to many people and got a rush of telling it. In the end the listener feels drained while the drainer went on to the next person to be the target listener and the draining process continues. Change the topic when the same old story is repeated or pretend you got a very important phone call to make or just tell it straight to her face enough of your problem can we focus on the beautiful thing over here/this happy news etc. Or just walk away.

2. A drainer is almost always negative

If five minutes into a conversation you find yourself feeling tired or sucked in, in a very negative way, take a step back and review the conversation. Chances are you got a drainer there. Try steering the conversation to a more positive tone or make it lighter in mood. If your attempts fail then move on and excuse yourself.

3. A drainer is self-centred

A drainer is always self-centred and hardly pay attention to what you are saying or if he/she hears you they are always thinking of what to say to steer the conversation back to them and them only. If you catch yourself doing that take note and refrain from monopolizing the conversation. I learned it the hard way and I thank many who have told me off or pointed out to me that the world doesn't revolve around me. You may lose the friendship for a bit but sooner or later if the time is ripe the drainer will realise it and perhaps may change for the better.

Do you know a drainer yourself or are you a drainer yourself? The energy that we exudes really matters. Are you positive enough today?

 

We are Never Good Enough? Mid-Year Reflection

"We are never good enough". It is even more pronounced in Asian culture where we are not supposed to brag or be proud of our accomplishments and it is a sin to show off when others have so little. At least that was how my husband and I were brought up and we grew up on different lands in the same country, separated by the South China Sea.

I was talking to two young ladies earlier today and it was a very strong, impactful afternoon as I get to know them better and the 12 years gap in between us just melted away. These two young ladies were absorbing what I had to say like sponges, they were receptive and I was willing to share and we learned so much from one another it was a deep connection of human hearts, a 'wow' connection.

Upon the fruitful sharing and we parted ways, I became contemplative and decided to pick up where I left off earlier this morning that is to write. I am guilty of procrastination.

Writing has always been my No.1 passion in life. So here we go... My first 4.5 months of 2016 so far in reflection.

1. Start somewhere

1. Bahasa Melayu: Mula di mana2 sahaja, tak kisah Mula di mana.

One thing I hear people say is they don't know where to start. So my solution is simple. Start somewhere.

Anywhere. Once a circle is drawn as a complete circle does it matter where you started? Will anyone ask you which is the beginning point of a circle? It won't matter anymore. So if you wanna do anything but still hesitate, carpe diem and just do it anyway.

The first step is always the hardest and we procrastinate because we fear something that we would like to just keep buried inside and not face. Face your inner demons and do it anyway. 

2. If you can't Then you MUST

2. Bahasa Melayu: Kalau rasa tak Boleh tak yakin jadi harus jadikannya MESTI Dan buat sampai dapat. Yakin Boleh.

Another self-limiting belief that is holding many people back is the word CANNOT/CAN'T.

Replace that word with MUST.

Strike off Can't and say I must try. Or even better I won't try it I will commit to do it until I no longer feel that I am not good enough to do it and the word can't won't exist in my head anymore. 

3. It is not shameful to admit you don't know everything

3. Tidak salah Dan bukannya sesuatu yang perlu dimalukan untuk mengaku yang Kita tidak tahu segala-galanya 

Life is a continuous journey of learning and exploration of new things. We will only grow old when we stop learning. Have you ever seen someone younger looking bored in class and in the same class a mature student looks motivated and eager to learn and participate in class? I have been in the same class with classmates 30 years my senior and I truly believe in the adage "You are only as old as you feel". The energy level of some older people is amazing.

Admitting you don't know everything is not shameful at all. If anything, the moment you acknowledge that you don't know everything, that is the first step to an open mind to truly open up to new possibilities and lessons life have to offer. Life-long learning is essential to staying young and learning isn't confined to an education institution. We can learn from anyone we meet and any challenges we face or just by greeting a stranger with a smile and learn that a smile can do so much to make a difference in another person's life. If that smile doesn't result in another smile, learn that things do not always work in your favour, and you don't have to be hard on yourself as you smiled and tried and the energy you emitted just does not resonate with that frowning person's wavelength. 

Be kind to yourself first before helping others and be confident enough to excel in life. 

Successful people grow together by helping each other.  Selfishness can only bring you so far before you are stuck in a plateau.

Sharing is caring. Cliche but true. 

May we reflect on how much we have lived our lives up to May 18, 2016, or whatever date you are reading this on. If we are not satisfied with our lives so far then what have we done to make it better? Why aren't you doing it already? If it is fear that is holding you back, then remember 95% of what we worry about never happen and even if in the event the worst happen, always treat it as a learning experience.

May all of us find inner peace and have restful sleep. *peace* Sue xoxo

This post is dedicated to Hyh and Faz.

Copyright Sue Tiong - Any request for publication in part or whole needs to be properly accredited to the original page link

New Changes In Life

 Quote of the day

"Changes only happen when we leave our comfort zone and go against everything we're used to doing."~Paulo Coelho

Ego Lelaki Begitu Rapuh Sehingga Senang Terasa Tercabar

Alangkah pilunya sekali hasil nukilan pertama blog ini merupakan suatu kisah mengenai ketidakadilan terhadap kaum Hawa.

Dunia sudah berubah, para wanita sepatutnya mendapat hak asasi yang lebih berbanding dengan zaman dahulukala. Anak perempuan seharusnya mendapat peluang untuk bersekolah seperti pria/anak lelaki tetapi dunia ini tidak sempurna lagi. Terdapat banyak lagi anak-anak perempuan yang tidak menerima pendidikan yang sepatutnya diberikan dan ketidakseimbangan ini merupakan bukti dunia ini susah untuk berubah sekiranya manusia masih lagi percaya kepada pegangan hidup yang karut dan ketinggalan zaman,.hello, ini sudah abad ke berapa? Tahun ni sudah 2016. Kita bukannya hidup di zaman 1916 yang mana para wanita masih tidak mempunyai hak asasi untuk mengundi dan bersuara.

Di dunia korporat misalannya, rata-rata kaum wanita dan lelaki masih merasakan yang wanita adalah lebih lemah dan beremosi, lebih lembut dan bukan ketua yang cekap. Sekiranya tanggapan itu tidak disangkal, para wanita akan menyekat perkembangan kaum Hawa sendiri, dan lelaki yang memang tidak bertanggapan baik tentang kecekapan wanita akan terus berfikiran yang wanita tidak mampu melaksanakan tanggungjawab sebaik lelaki.

Apabila seseorang wanita bersuara untuk menegakkan kebenaran, selalunya beliau disangkal dan tidak dipercayai berbanding dengan situasi yang serupa apabila seorang lelaki bersuara untuk menegakkan kebenaran yang sama.

Dunia perniagaan adalah lebih sengit persaingannya terutamanya bagi saya sebagai seorang wanita. Baru-baru ini, saya sahaja menerima tamparan hebat atas kewibawaan saya apabila seorang lelaki yang berego tinggi tetapi mempunyai masalah keyakinan diri berurusan dengan saya selaku wanita lemah dan mengganggap saya senang diperdaya. Nasib menyebelahi saya, kebanyakan perbualan kami dicatat dalam e-mel dan saya mendapat sokongan padu dari World's No 1 Wealth Coach JT Foxx. I love you JT. You are truly phenemenal. Sesiapa yang memerlukan panduan dalam dunia bisnes silalah layari laman sesawang www.meetjtfoxx.com

Saya sengaja menaip dalam bahasa Melayu selaku seorang rakyat Malaysia, marilah kita lihat berapa lama untuk google melakukan carian ini. ASIANS - kami orang Asia bukannya satu bangsa. Orang Asia ada pelbagai bangsa, pelbagai etnik dan beratus-ratus bahasa. IBOH ANGGAP MEK ORANG SELONGGOK OKEH. Oh Lelaki... KERANA SETITIK NILA, ROSAK SUSU SEBELANGA.

Good luck in google translating. I write my first blog post in my national language just because I can. #MalaysiaBoleh patriotiklah konon. Tetapi sememangnya tanah tumpah darahku. *Peace*